I think my vagina is haunted
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
just found out that she named her cat after me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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