So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
