Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
