I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
