well you can't waste a boner
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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