oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
