i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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