there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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