Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
