The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
two words...techno handjob
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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