I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
