Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
