i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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