so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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