We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Girls should come with a carfax report
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize