i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
