Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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