Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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