all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
