He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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