Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
