doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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