i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
