Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
