Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
