Do you still have your period?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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