How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
