you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
