suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
