Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
my phone needs a breathalizer
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
