i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
