there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
