My room smells like vodka and shame
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
