how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
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I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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