Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
