do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
