I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sorry about my life...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
