When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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