You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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