I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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