wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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