she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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