dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
