Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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