just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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