Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was petting her beer can
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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