and she was petting her beer can
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
