Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
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If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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