So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize