just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
