we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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