just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
