I'm lost and stupid without you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
