what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he puts the penis in happiness.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
