Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
