I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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