I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
