But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
