Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am one with the molecules
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
