we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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